Worry drains my soul. Anger. Frustration. Hate. Negativity. I experience all of these - I let myself experience all of these - but they make me feel dead inside. Flat. They make me lose who I am. Above all, depression drains my soul. It feels like a Dementor's kiss. It feels like death.
Relationships recharge my soul. Connecting with another human being - a family member, a friend, a lover, a teacher, a co-worker - recharges me, makes me feel real and whole. Writing recharges my soul, reminds me who I am. Thinking, reflecting on my convictions, remembering my passions...all of these things save me.
What is the soul?
I know the song is called Heart & Soul, but I think the heart and the soul are one in the same. The soul is what makes you live. Not what makes you breathe, or your body function, but what really makes you live. The soul is the thing that feels the pain of getting hurt, the joy of a baby being born, the anger of someone letting you down, the happiness of simply being. The soul is feelings, the soul is hopes and dreams, the soul is everything that matters, spiritually, emotionally. It's everything.
Can you kill your soul?
I hope not. I think even the people who seem like the are soul-less still have something to hang on to. I don't think anyone is completely without a soul - I don't know that you could live like that. Physically, I don't think your body would survive. And I would hope that no one gets to that point...even if you contemplate suicide, your soul is still there, just in pain. Even sociopaths must have a little bit of soul. I would hate to think there are empty people walking about in the world.
Does the soul have a gender?
Your soul is you. What makes you you. In that way I suppose it does, but not necessarily the same one you are assigned on the outside.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
How do thoughts affect reality?
How does prayer affect reality?
When has your mind been your worst enemy?
How do you keep cynicism in check?
When has your mind been your worst enemy?
How do you keep cynicism in check?
What is the interplay between fate and free will?
This is a confusing one for me. Because on one hand I know God has a plan, but on the other I know God gave us free will. So...how do those work together? I guess God has a plan that includes our free will, and He knows what will happen because He knows what is and was and will be. But I still get confused. I still haven't figured out how it works. I don't know if I ever will... does anyone? Even people that are so deep in their faith, do they know how it works? Why it works?
Is it possible to influence the fate of others?
If fate exists and it trumps free will, then no, I don't think it is. I think it's possible to feel like we do - because in the moment, we may be doing just that. But when it comes down to it, God has the plan - he knows what's up. He knows what influence one may or may not have on another and in that regard, it's really Him doing the "influencing." I don't even know if that makes sense, or makes me sound like a whacked-out crazy Christian or what it makes me. I'm still wrestling with this one. Obviously.
When have you felt like you had no free will?
I'll have to come back to this one.
What is the collective destiny of humanity?
I guess God knows that. But I sure as hell don't. I hope it involves being nice to each other and being happy and all of that but...I really have no idea.
Is it possible to influence the fate of others?
If fate exists and it trumps free will, then no, I don't think it is. I think it's possible to feel like we do - because in the moment, we may be doing just that. But when it comes down to it, God has the plan - he knows what's up. He knows what influence one may or may not have on another and in that regard, it's really Him doing the "influencing." I don't even know if that makes sense, or makes me sound like a whacked-out crazy Christian or what it makes me. I'm still wrestling with this one. Obviously.
When have you felt like you had no free will?
I'll have to come back to this one.
What is the collective destiny of humanity?
I guess God knows that. But I sure as hell don't. I hope it involves being nice to each other and being happy and all of that but...I really have no idea.
How do you reconcile discrepancies between reason and faith?
I don't know how to reconcile discrepancies between reason and faith. Sometimes I can't even tell one from another. I believe you have to have both in your life...I feel each serves a purpose. Reason helps you practically. It helps you solve problems, it helps you not accidentally die, it helps you learn. But faith gives you something to believe in. Faith gives you the strength to go on - it gives you the drive to be reasonable. They go hand in hand, as opposites, as brothers.
When has reason failed you?
I don't know how to reasonably defend my faith in God, sometimes not even to myself. I get comfort from God but there are some things I just don't understand. Maybe I will eventually. Maybe I won't. But this is a space where reason doesn't even come into play. I can reasonably argue for God, but I can reasonably argue against Him, too.
What do you believe strictly on faith?
I believe in God, even when reason tells me not to. I believe in God on faith, no matter what. I waver sometimes, I wonder sometimes - but the idea that there is no one up there, no one watching or making things happen, just doesn't stick with me. I always come back to God. And I always feel comforted by God. God is where I turn when things get rough...and I want to start turning to God more when things are good, too.
Does every question have an answer?
Maybe, but only God has the key.
When has reason failed you?
I don't know how to reasonably defend my faith in God, sometimes not even to myself. I get comfort from God but there are some things I just don't understand. Maybe I will eventually. Maybe I won't. But this is a space where reason doesn't even come into play. I can reasonably argue for God, but I can reasonably argue against Him, too.
What do you believe strictly on faith?
I believe in God, even when reason tells me not to. I believe in God on faith, no matter what. I waver sometimes, I wonder sometimes - but the idea that there is no one up there, no one watching or making things happen, just doesn't stick with me. I always come back to God. And I always feel comforted by God. God is where I turn when things get rough...and I want to start turning to God more when things are good, too.
Does every question have an answer?
Maybe, but only God has the key.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
How do you determine truth?
Truth is determined by what you believe. What you really, really believe, not what you pretend to believe. Truth is the real deal. And you may not even recognize it at first...but it's there.
What is truth?
Every person's truth is different. This is a lesson that can take years to learn, if we ever learn it at all. We get stuck convinced that our truth is the absolute truth, and suddenly you have a country divided over every issue imaginable, you have people losing their jobs due to misunderstandings, you have fights and wars and genocide and holocaust. Truth is a dangerous thing, and we play with it like fire.
My truth is what should matter to me. You can have your truth, do what you like with it, but truth leads to conviction and what is the point of a life without conviction? Without passion for your truth, excitement about your truth?
Does truth evolve?
As we grow, our truths evolve. Or at least they tend to; in fact, they ought to. Because when I'm a toddler, not getting my cookie is truly the most horrible thing I can imagine. When I'm twelve it's my parents' divorce, and when I'm twenty-two it's heartbreak. It grows as we go, changes as we change. I am not the same person I was yesterday, and I will be a different person tomorrow. My truths follow the same path, because they are a part of me, they are what make me myself. That's why it's so important to keep note of them. Don't forget they're there, or you may lose yourself completely.
What's one thing you know for sure?
I know that I am lucky. I know I was born into a loving family and a first-world country. I know that no matter how bad things get, I'm luckier than someone. Even if I lose everything, at least I had what I did. When I talked to Melissa at work she would tell me earnestly that she was such a lucky girl, to live in such a great group home with staff that care about her. Melissa, who's lived in multiple foster homes and group homes, who's been abused, who hears voices, who has the mental capacity of a six year old. Melissa knows that she is lucky and she made me realize how lucky I am, too. Lucky to have gotten to work with her. Lucky to be who I am.
What is truth?
Every person's truth is different. This is a lesson that can take years to learn, if we ever learn it at all. We get stuck convinced that our truth is the absolute truth, and suddenly you have a country divided over every issue imaginable, you have people losing their jobs due to misunderstandings, you have fights and wars and genocide and holocaust. Truth is a dangerous thing, and we play with it like fire.
My truth is what should matter to me. You can have your truth, do what you like with it, but truth leads to conviction and what is the point of a life without conviction? Without passion for your truth, excitement about your truth?
Does truth evolve?
As we grow, our truths evolve. Or at least they tend to; in fact, they ought to. Because when I'm a toddler, not getting my cookie is truly the most horrible thing I can imagine. When I'm twelve it's my parents' divorce, and when I'm twenty-two it's heartbreak. It grows as we go, changes as we change. I am not the same person I was yesterday, and I will be a different person tomorrow. My truths follow the same path, because they are a part of me, they are what make me myself. That's why it's so important to keep note of them. Don't forget they're there, or you may lose yourself completely.
What's one thing you know for sure?
I know that I am lucky. I know I was born into a loving family and a first-world country. I know that no matter how bad things get, I'm luckier than someone. Even if I lose everything, at least I had what I did. When I talked to Melissa at work she would tell me earnestly that she was such a lucky girl, to live in such a great group home with staff that care about her. Melissa, who's lived in multiple foster homes and group homes, who's been abused, who hears voices, who has the mental capacity of a six year old. Melissa knows that she is lucky and she made me realize how lucky I am, too. Lucky to have gotten to work with her. Lucky to be who I am.
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